If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
