I bet he comes in French.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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