I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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