Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
