there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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