Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I forget how to act sober
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize