Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
