I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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