remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Fuck appropriateness.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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