It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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