I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
