wanna go halves on a baby?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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