Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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