I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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