That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
