so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
