I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
