Your face is a jimmy john
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
