"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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