Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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