We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
