But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
