WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
