i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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