so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
