I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Are we still banned from the library?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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