It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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