Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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