Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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