Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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