So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
