Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think your dad took our porno
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
