We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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