Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
