Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
