We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize