She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.