I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.