fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
