I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.