Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
