hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
