im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
