I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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