i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
