He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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