its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
