OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
