she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
