Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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