Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wish there were birth control emojis
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
