Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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