feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do vagina's smell?
Operation Purity has been aborted
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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