i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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