Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
