Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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