no, he came in my armpit
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize