You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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