I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
