She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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