she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
