Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
