Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
