did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
