My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
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if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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